what's this thing called, love?
i realize through my sweet, wonderful husband, that i am only now, at the ripe old age of 38, learning what it is to be loved.
i know what it is to love someone - although my feelings, desire, love and admiration for bruce are showing me that i am capable of far deeper, more intense emotions than i’d ever believed possible - but this “being loved” thing is brand new.
no one has ever told me that from the day they met me, they knew they wanted to marry me. i always thought i took a little getting used to.
no one has ever told me that they had been wishing, and hoping and praying that i would marry them. i always figured someone would just settle for me.
no-one has ever seen me at my worst, and still told me that i was a wonderful, remarkable person.
no-one has ever worked as hard at something as ridiculously challenging as immigration for me. the only other person that was in that situation couldn’t find the time to read the forms, let alone give up days out of his life making this happen.
and yet, there is no hint of flattery about what he tells me. indeed, what he says is so poignant, so heartfelt that he makes me go all soft and gooey inside.
but i wonder if he too, understand just how loved he is.
with him, i have found myself in situations so challenging, i never could have imagined them in my wildest dreams. i never dreamt i’d be helping raise someone else’s kid, nor could i imagine the emotional, spiritual challenges that would bring. and yet i love him so completely, so deeply and so…. unwaveringly… that when i really think about it, i know that its something i would gladly do.
i love him so much that i would give up any plans to have my own children, and spend my emotional life entirely devoted to him. i love him so much, that i would gladly cross the planet to be with him, no matter the cost or apparent obstacles.
and yet, on the face of it all of those things seem so easy – so natural, like they don’t constitute the slightest effort on my part.
maybe that’s it.
loving him is truly effortless.
i hope he knows that.
i know what it is to love someone - although my feelings, desire, love and admiration for bruce are showing me that i am capable of far deeper, more intense emotions than i’d ever believed possible - but this “being loved” thing is brand new.
no one has ever told me that from the day they met me, they knew they wanted to marry me. i always thought i took a little getting used to.
no one has ever told me that they had been wishing, and hoping and praying that i would marry them. i always figured someone would just settle for me.
no-one has ever seen me at my worst, and still told me that i was a wonderful, remarkable person.
no-one has ever worked as hard at something as ridiculously challenging as immigration for me. the only other person that was in that situation couldn’t find the time to read the forms, let alone give up days out of his life making this happen.
and yet, there is no hint of flattery about what he tells me. indeed, what he says is so poignant, so heartfelt that he makes me go all soft and gooey inside.
but i wonder if he too, understand just how loved he is.
with him, i have found myself in situations so challenging, i never could have imagined them in my wildest dreams. i never dreamt i’d be helping raise someone else’s kid, nor could i imagine the emotional, spiritual challenges that would bring. and yet i love him so completely, so deeply and so…. unwaveringly… that when i really think about it, i know that its something i would gladly do.
i love him so much that i would give up any plans to have my own children, and spend my emotional life entirely devoted to him. i love him so much, that i would gladly cross the planet to be with him, no matter the cost or apparent obstacles.
and yet, on the face of it all of those things seem so easy – so natural, like they don’t constitute the slightest effort on my part.
maybe that’s it.
loving him is truly effortless.
i hope he knows that.
posted by AMackid at 5:24 AM
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