incredible
he is such a good man.
i am so overwhelmed as i realize the depth, the strength and the integrity in his heart.
i am so blessed that even our deepest, darkest, most emotive and challenging conversations ultimately end up in laughter, prayer, and a deepening and strengthening of what is turning out to be an extrordinary love.
i've never known anything like this. in every previous relationship, tough conversations weakend the relationship, laughter was used to ignore hurt, challenging subjects ended up in damage. this time? they are strengthening us, reinforcing this relationship, making it deeper, more secure, more vibrant and solid.
with previous lovers, when my emotions ran away from me, i was told i was "crazy", "psychotic" and "insane". bruce recognizes it, though, as the passionate responses of someone that feels things very deeply and very wildly; and he tells me that he appreciates that this is the way God has wired me up and that there is nothing wrong with that. I am so grateful and humbled to have a man that truly sees me for who i am.
and yet it goes the other way too: i find that when fundamental relationship issues creep up, it is brett that i go back to, not aj. i remember brett's moodiness, his withdrawing, his stonewalling. at the time, in brett, that is what i saw it as. but in bruce i see introspection, deep reflection, a need for space and time in which to process deep, passionate emotions. that's not just a measure of how different a man bruce is, but of how i have changed in my approach to a relationship.
and that's critical. not only do i want to love him in the way he needs and wants to be loved, i actually feel capable of it. i am listening to him, and really hearing him, learning what it is he needs: when he needs me to be there for him, and when he needs me to back the hell off.
and to hear him tell me that he is so sorry that he can't physically show me that he loves me because he realizes that intense physical contact is a huge part of my love-language, i know that he is listening to me as well, and that my needs matter to him.
and this, i think - and i am told by the long-time, happily married - is what "the love of your life" really is.
i don't think someone like aj would even be capable of a relationship like this.
i am so overwhelmed as i realize the depth, the strength and the integrity in his heart.
i am so blessed that even our deepest, darkest, most emotive and challenging conversations ultimately end up in laughter, prayer, and a deepening and strengthening of what is turning out to be an extrordinary love.
i've never known anything like this. in every previous relationship, tough conversations weakend the relationship, laughter was used to ignore hurt, challenging subjects ended up in damage. this time? they are strengthening us, reinforcing this relationship, making it deeper, more secure, more vibrant and solid.
with previous lovers, when my emotions ran away from me, i was told i was "crazy", "psychotic" and "insane". bruce recognizes it, though, as the passionate responses of someone that feels things very deeply and very wildly; and he tells me that he appreciates that this is the way God has wired me up and that there is nothing wrong with that. I am so grateful and humbled to have a man that truly sees me for who i am.
and yet it goes the other way too: i find that when fundamental relationship issues creep up, it is brett that i go back to, not aj. i remember brett's moodiness, his withdrawing, his stonewalling. at the time, in brett, that is what i saw it as. but in bruce i see introspection, deep reflection, a need for space and time in which to process deep, passionate emotions. that's not just a measure of how different a man bruce is, but of how i have changed in my approach to a relationship.
and that's critical. not only do i want to love him in the way he needs and wants to be loved, i actually feel capable of it. i am listening to him, and really hearing him, learning what it is he needs: when he needs me to be there for him, and when he needs me to back the hell off.
and to hear him tell me that he is so sorry that he can't physically show me that he loves me because he realizes that intense physical contact is a huge part of my love-language, i know that he is listening to me as well, and that my needs matter to him.
and this, i think - and i am told by the long-time, happily married - is what "the love of your life" really is.
i don't think someone like aj would even be capable of a relationship like this.
posted by AMackid at 8:43 AM
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